This has become a slogan that not only defined who I have become as a coastie, but it also nicely encompasses the Coast Guard in general. March to the beat of your own drum with these military jokes. He says to his neighbors "I believe God will save me". A Navy admiral and a coast guard chief were in a barber shop. However, when Bob went to Michelle's house with … My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" This morning, around 7:00 AM, I went for my stroll around the marina, I noticed a man running down the dock toward me dressed in Islamic clothing who shouted "Allah be praised!" All … Sgt. A boat passes by him and tells him to climb aboard but he says "I have faith, God will save me.". However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of Homeland Security. Article by The Balance. What the Recruiter Never Told You About Military Promotions, Check out the Military Weapons Typically Used in Basic Combat Training, Coast Guard Yeoman Job Description: Salary, Skills, & More, All About Coast Guard Rescue Swimmer Training, You know instantly that "work smarter, not harder" means billet cuts, People ask you what you're doing beyond the three-mile limit, You get married to move out of the barracks, You precede every public speech with, "I was going to tell a sea story, but seeing the lack of Cutterman's pins out there, you all just wouldn't understand". When you come home with groceries you shout, "All hands lay to the garage/driveway/curb for stores". Coast Guard Repatriates 110 Haitians Aboard an Overloaded Boat New Naval Strategy Zeroes in on China as Biggest Long-Term Threat to the US Congress Authorizes New Arctic Icebreakers for Coast Guard ). See more ideas about coast guard, military humor, military memes. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I didn't quite catch it at first, but then he started laughing and revealed that it was a little joke that fellow military men play with the Coast Guard. Between all the service branches there is a friendly rivalry that will always create jokes among the various branches. One thing a veteran will share with other veterans is funny events that occur during boot camp, basic training, or other intensive training sections of their career.Being able to laugh at yourself and others is a key to success while enduring stressful training programs. If you abbreviate words so much that you forget how to spell them out. We were making them stronger, faster and above all *smarter*-and after all its well known that dolphins are already very intelligent. You might be a Coastie if your ship sends an emergency CASREP for the broken coffee maker. That hasn't stopped anyone from making fun of the Coast Guard. A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. The captain, in a panic, gets on his radio to send out an S.O.S. 87 RESULTS 87 Results. On the first day his floor is flooded and a little rowboat comes by and asks him if he wants to leave. No one moved. Change View Filter. The Admiral turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. Funny Coast Guard Jokes Wall Art. Personalized. A man lived in Florida in a two-story house near the water. Shop CafePress for Funny Coast Guard Jokes Drinkware. You are not sure if there really is life out there, i.e. For example: Seeing the cargo strewn about on the ocean, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship. Here are some jokes about the military and all its branches, specifically the Coast Guard. Press J to jump to the feed. A German coast guard is doing maintenance on the shores of the North Sea near France. This military humor will crack you up whether you’re in the Army, Marines, Navy, or Air Force. Ed Westfall, the lighthouse program manager for the U.S. Coast Guard’s Fifth District, based in Portsmouth. A hurricane approaches Florida and evacuations begin as it will devastate the coast but one man decides to stay. So there is a religious guy living in an area that is being greatly flooded. With Hurricane Harvey currently outside my window, I was reminded of it. Other branches obviously charge forward with "not even in the military" but the Coast Guard has definitely seen its share of life and death operations on the high seas, dealing with drug dealers, and even being deployed in the War on Terror overseas to handle port security and other coastal threats. Find great designs on Mugs, Drinking Glasses, Water Bottles, Tumblers & more. Just remember, all international radio traffic must be in ze English", and leaves. A big Army car came up with a general seated in … Kaitlin Olsen ("It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia") shows up as Edison Jaymes, a billionaire tech huckster who's half Elon Musk, half Elizabeth Holmes from … Coast Guard Jokes An English ship is sinking just off the German coast... ”Mayday, mayday, we are sinking!” The German coast guard responds: ”Hello, zhis is ze German coast guard, … by PO Bilge Rat | Jun 28, 2017 | USCG Jokes & Humor. Most heard Quotes from the United States Coast Guard. "no can do" Pierre said, "We've got all we can do searching for regular-sized boats.". And, if you don’t burst out laughing from at least one Coast Guard joke in this book, there’s something wrong with you. If your 40-year-old boat is getting underway on Monday for a 6-week patrol and your still making plans for the weekend because you know the boat will break down within 2-3 days. I work with a guy who is joining the Coast Guard soon and I need some ammo for talking shit. Personalized. 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